The Truth for Now

For those of you who don’t really know me I’m going to run through a few things to catch you up because I want to release some stuff!!!

I’ve been in what I would call 4 serious relationships (not that they all lasted real long but feelings were there)

The 1st one was scattered over 3 years including high school and my time in the Navy. She was my “1st love” or puppy love as most “old folks” would call it… lol we ended up engaged and the fact of me being in the service and her back home just didn’t work out for us.

2nd was shortly after I got out and that lasted for almost 4 years with a woman I cared about a lot She had 3 kids 2 girls and 1 boy I loved them as if they were my own and to be honest…Yes I still think about them almost every day! Contrary to popular belief I love kids what can I say? We had great times together but in the end we didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things.

3rd wasn’t a long relationship but the friendship that started it was about 2 years and she taught me so much and introduced me to some great people, I shouldn’t have crossed that line and took it there because in the end I lost a GREAT friend!!! Now she had 1 boy who was cool as hell… (funny memory) Take him to Subway and I promise you’ll be amazed at the amount of veggies he asks for on his sub….not the normal boy! All in all she was a woman who helped me get through so much in life when I didn’t tell anyone else about problems I was having… Unfortunately we were not meant to be together

The 4th relationship was the most recent. It was as if we knew eachother for years on our “first date” She had 3 kids also 2 girls and 1 boy but the two youngest was at her ex-husbands so she just had the one girl (at times I swear she thought she was a horse, she loved them that much) We got engaged in Jan. and seemed as if there were absolutely no problems but well…..

there were some big ones!!!! I’m not going to go into all of it… Lets just say “The Oscar Goes To….” lol sometimes you just have to laugh at the situation because it wasn’t but a few weeks ago I found out the only reason she was with me was for $$$$ … Guess my dreams and ambition was enough for her to hope on then when she realized that building a business isn’t as easy as winning the lotto all the problems started surfacing which led us to calling off the wedding and me moving out….

I said all that to say this…

A. I feel like I’m getting too old for all this!! I do want to find my soulmate, someone who likes me for me and understands all my beliefs and that what I believe is what I believe and I am not changing my beliefs because your friends. Someone who understands that a relationship should be about the two people first and then the outer families… and all parties should show love and respect for eachother!

B. I love kids and what I’m about to say will probably piss some people off but I’m sorry… It happens!!!

I want my own kids and I know that if I get with a woman who has kids the chances I have my own are slim…
I don’t mind if a woman has a child but honestly after my last 3 relationships 2 misscarrages and raising other kids and not having my own and my heart breaking when I have to leave kids when me and there mother break up….

I am looking for my soulmate and I know I’m rambling here I cant help it I do that a lot!!!! lol

Just wanted to make that public

cj

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