What If I Die Today?

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I seriously asked myself this question about 30 minutes ago & let myself go there for about 5 minutes.

I was listening to the Lukas Graham album on shuffle & the song “Funeral” came on.  I’ve heard this song many times before but I always played it from the other perspective when I was dealing with the loss of some good friends last year.

The difference when listening to the song this time is that I started thinking about what my funeral would be like if I did die today.  It isn’t something I wanted to think about at all! I almost completely broke! I just sat there and cried like I knew I was going to die.

It was extremely painful because I went back through my life and found so many things that I would love to change in my life and people I have wronged and ignored it, people I have lied to, family members that I don’t talk to as much as I should.  The list of things I started thinking about wasn’t this short.  I’m just giving examples.  I did a lot of bad when I was younger & even though I feel like & would like to think that I have had some positive impact on peoples lives but is it enough?

It’s not and unfortunately, if you truly looked deep enough inside you will see that you’re probably in the same boat as me.

So I actually started going a little deeper.  If I die today, being honest with myself what will everyone say at my funeral? and the more painful part is who will show up only because they feel they have to? & the worse part is who have I looked at as family members or friends who won’t be at my funeral because of how I may have treated them in the past?

The answers I was finding by asking those questions lead me to a discovery I thought I already had already found. That is the fact that we only live one life.

It sounds cheesy but I believe you should really think about it.  Yes, I enjoy doing certain things like playing Madden or NBA2k from time to time but after this soul-searching session, it’s left me asking other questions.

Is what I’m doing benefiting me & others?

Yeah, it’s something we ignore a lot in our life.  We do things based on our opinions and feelings but most of the time we can still prosper & be happy in life while benefiting more than ourselves. The crazy thing is we need to focus on making sure that it does benefit yourself as well.

If I’m doing this for fun, can there be something better I can be doing?

Like I said earlier, I enjoy playing games every now and then.  Now I’m thinking if there is something I could be doing that is just as fun and impacting someone else’s life?

I guess the breakdown is that my mindset has changed to focus on the “Legacy” of my life.  Noone ever dreams of having a funeral with only five or six people there.  We’d all love a massive event where everyone we’ve ever met is there talking about how we impacted their lives.  Not like most funerals, because everyone will be sharing so many positive thoughts and stories with each other.  Playing positive music and celebrating the life you lived, not sad because of the life you won’t live anymore.

Thinking about all this has opened my eyes to some of the things I’ve been doing lately along with old habits and changes that I need to make.

I can’t explain how painful this exercise was when I let myself go there but I can tell you that the drive to become that person I need to be in order to have the legacy everyone deserves from me is massive. It opens your mind and eyes to see more than we normally do.  I never truly thought about life like this before but now that I have gone there, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So, I challenge you to do the same thing! Really go there.  Force yourself to envision how people will be acting at your funeral and think about the changes you can make to be the person you know that you should be!

So make the changes to focus on your happiness and enjoy every moment.  In doing this, understand how much your happiness and love for yourself will be effected by helping others do the same thing! Hug someone, send a text to someone and let them know that you love them.

I’m not going to ramble anymore, I’ll let you go enjoy the rest of your Sunday.

Don’t worry, if you are reading this and think I may be a little depressed or anything like that. I am not, just got these thoughts from listening to the song. I’m 100% Fine!! :P

Hope you all have a super awesome Sunday Funday!!!

Be Great & Stay Boosted!

CJ

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